This is the story of a career woman, turned Stay at home mom in the blink of an eye. An out of sorts happening that changed my life for the better and made me a better mom!
Walking through the door after 7 pm on a school night, it has been a long day, and honestly, everyone is just irritable. The kids have homework that they didn’t finish at daycare that day and dinner needs to be made. The laundry hasn’t been done in almost a week and its starting to pile up in the hall. Next to the washer and dryer. Where it is clearly doesn’t belong.
My husband and I are on opposite schedules trying to make ends meet. NIGHTS, DAYS, NIGHTS DAYS. We haven’t been on a date in lord knows when and it is starting to show. The dreaded 12 hour shift comes again in just a few hours.
“Does it end?” I start thinking to myself this maddening cycle of “I love my job, I love my job.”
Finding a Breakthrough
If you are not familiar with the Nursing profession, it is HARD! A lot of things in life are hard, but, this will change your life. I was always told that Nursing would be the hardest job I would ever love. To what extent?
I had found my Career of choice and became what I like to call myself a “Career Woman”. Not the high heel wearing type. No. I dressed in scrubs and tennis shoes. But I had found my passion. This was it!
The countless hours you spend taking care of someone else through all kinds of pains doesn’t even begin to explain. That was me! Did I love it? Or was my home life being neglected?
My kids spending hours and hours at daycare. A Husband that was so supportive of me but was working as well as I to make our ends meet. If this was life as I knew it.
Fast forward to the beginning of 2020. We all know the events that took place. Homeschooling! For moms that work full time, this was about to be a rude awakening. We were finding it hard to get a routine and schedule.
Something needed to change.
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The Transition Period
Ultimately no one can ever prepare to be a stay at home mom after working for many years. In July of 2020, I was placed on leave. AKA Stay at home mom, for reasons that we won’t go into here. This should be easy right? After all, we were planning on this happening since March!
Enter transition. What started off as such a great almost relieved feeling, suddenly turned into a “How are we going to get through this?” feeling. I had been working since I can remember when and now I was collecting unemployment! Why was this feeling so off?
Of course, we still had summer going on right? Well with an injury at play, things suddenly started to seem gloomy. It was then that I realized that there was obviously some good that would come of this.
Steps to Make a Smooth Transition
#1. Keep a Daily Schedule
Being a stay at home mom with school-age kids. LORD HELP US! Homeschooling is like a whole other world. God bless our teachers because they are amazing and have so much patience with these kiddos of ours! Enter in the first Transition and big task #1!!
Kids thrive on structure, at school, they have a structure and a schedule and many kids get used to that. Wake up, breakfast, school, dinner, bed, repeat. Am I right?? It wasn’t until we were in this crazy situation of transition to stay at home mom that I realized we needed a schedule.
Of course, our schedule changed daily because of extracurriculars and such but it was very effective. The reason I chose this schedule was that it has so many options and fill in the blanks. You can easily change up what you want to put in it! You can download your free printable too!
Why is it that every time we try and keep a schedule things happen. Not all things are going to stay in place like you think they are. In fact, there will be times when your child just won’t take a nap at nap time and has a WALL EYED fit! ( I know you have heard that saying a time or two!)
It is ok! We all color out of the lines sometimes. Once we started the schedule, it took a few days to actually get used to doing it. Keep going it’ll get better.
#2. Make Dinner a Priority
Throughout the majority of my stay at home mom transition, I realized that there were so many things in my kid’s life that I was actually missing. Although I was home the majority of the afternoons with them, there were little things that had been neglected.
Did you know that the average family either spends their evenings in front of a TV or eating out. When I was growing up my mom always stressed the fact that dinner together meant bonding time!
Trying to keep our “bonding” time in check while two parents are working full time was seriously nonexistent.
Raise of hands. Do you have dinner with your family each night? The majority of you probably said no. That’s ok! I am guilty too!! Remembering back to when this started becoming a reality.
I made it a point to have dinner as a family each night. Sitting and talking about our day was so nice to hear.
The funny thing is I noticed a huge change in my kids. We talked about the day (the schedule) and what we had planned for tomorrow and funny stories and things just need to get talked about.
#3. Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
Clearly we have all heard this saying. “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” The little things in life , like dirty dishes in the sink, laundry in the hallway or even a messy living room. These are small things. They will get done. When I was working full time I let these little things really press my buttons.
I would constantly nag that the laundry wasn’t done or that things were misplaced. After being home for several days, the little things suddenly became non existent. I was more focused on my kids and healing and honestly my relationships mattered more than those pesky dishes.
As I started growing into myself and being a stay at home, the small things got done. There wasn’t much that needed to be done by the end of the day and we all pitched in and helped.
#4. Find a Hobby
As it so happens while I was not busy with the small things and sticking to our schedule, I found a very fun hobby. I began this blog MOM LIFE AMOUR. It is a creative outlet for me that really inspires me to help people. Like I was doing before I became a stay at home mom with my nursing career.
Having small kids or school age kids, doesn’t mean you have to reluctant to try new things. There are so many things out there for a mom to do. And honestly this blog relieves a lot of my stress! There are many ways that you can find a creative outlet.
If you want to start your own blog and get started on your creative outlet, you can sign up with Start a Mom Blog has an awesome, easy to understand course that will have you up and running in no time!
Check out her AWESOME structured training course HERE!!
However, there are many other ways you can start a hobby. Crafting, art, taking pictures. Or heck I just started using Instagram and let me tell you it is super fun and easy to use. Taking up a hobby is the best thing that I have done for myself. Aside from pedicures occasionally (wink wink). I could be for you also!
#5 Play with Your Kids
For the longest time I didn’t have enough time to play. There were things to do and a house to clean and I was just plain grumpy. Constantly. So when we have a “go out to play” time, mommy comes too. Have you ever noticed that kids will give the weirdest excuses not to go outside these days? Or is that just my kids?
- If mom goes outside, SHE MEANS BUSINESS!
- Or if my kids ask me to play a game with them, WE DO IT!
- If they want me to color with them because “I am good at it” I DO IT! (that was hypothetical)
Play time to kids is a learned thing. Growing up we were always outside. Either riding bikes, playing hide and seek or so on. Nowadays, we barely see kids outside anymore. We are too connected to electronics or other stuff.
In general, it is not healthy for our minds. Playtime releases endorphins and stimulates the brain making kids more apt to be less hyper. Go outside and play!!!
#6 Have Parent Time
If you are married, I cannot stress the importance of having/spending time with your spouse. Spending time with your spouse without kids deepens the connection 10 fold. That is like 1000 times more than just staying at home together. It is human connection, we crave the connection of just being together.
There are many ways you can spend time together outside of the home and away from kids. IE; date night, movies, picnic, motorcycle riding, bike riding, go for a walk, take dance lessons. You get my drift. The time that you have with your s/o if important. Don’t neglect that.
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#7 Family Night
You may think I am crazy for doing this because well we spend all day together, what is the difference? Family night is based on togetherness as a family. Often times we do games, or most recently we have movie night outside. We set up our big projection screen and we fall asleep under the stars watching movies!!
How fun is that! Prior to me becoming a stay at home mom we didn’t have the time do these things. We would continually put them off because we were just so drained. Having the opportunity to treat family night like a super fun time for the kids, was something that we will continue to do throughout the years.
#3 Get Some Exercise
Exercising is a quick way to boost mood and endorphins and have you feeling more energized. I love having my exercise time because it blocks out ME time! It is so good for you and has numerous amounts of benefits also! Even 30 Minutes a day will help boost your mood.
We started incorporating some form of exercise for the kiddos as well each day. Whether they were doing online Yoga or just jumping on the trampoline. It helped them to be more attentive and actually get along believe it or not! As a mom we need our designated 30 minutes so we can start fresh!
Personally I use Beachbody on demand for all of my workouts and I love it. They have on-demand programs that range from beginner to advanced. From yoga to cardio and even stretching. The best part is, it is about the same as a gym membership, only you don’t have to leave your house!!
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What I Learned From My Transition to Stay At Home Mom
As I think about all the things that led up to me becoming a stay at home, I was truly granted a blessing. Many moms may not see it that way. In my so humble opinion I feel that this transition from Career Woman to Stay at home mom has made me a better person in many ways.
Being home has offered me the freedom to be able to write when I want to. To be able to help my kids with their school work when they need it and not feel rushed. To allow me to have a better relationship with my spouse. It has also allowed me to be able to focus on my family and be a better mom.
Since than I have read many self help books that have helped me form a better mindset for myself and have also set goals that I want to accomplish.
You Can Do It
To all the moms out there that are working their jobs Monday through Friday, or hustling! You are where you need to be. Being a stay at home is the real deal! You can do it, mommas! Have you been through a transition such as this one? I would love to hear from you!